


Missing you

by monwonpanda



Series: SonShin(e) [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: But showho does stuff to me, Fluff, Fluffy, I swear, I'm trying, M/M, My First Fanfic, i am not a fluffy person, showho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7785361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monwonpanda/pseuds/monwonpanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hyunwoo and Hoseok need some quality time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing you

M i s s i n g Y o u

Selfies, flowers and giggles

 

It’s the smallest of things that  makes Hyunwoo miss them. It’s being in a room filled with people but none of them exude warmth like them. Like he usually does, Hyunwoo just zones. Their dance routine is on repeat in his head. His dancing with five others for this performance, five others that aren’t Monsta x. Hyunwoo’s back up dancing experience comes in handy but despite being a contestant on hit the stage, he really can’t help but miss  his members. 

 

“Hey remember about the selfies,” His managers thankfully reminds him before disappearing into the crowd.

 

The waiting  room is buzzing with activity but Hyunwoo’s been ready for some time now.  If Hoseok was here, Hyunwoo would have no choice but be a part of many selfies. The younger isn’t here and Hyunwoo needs to engage the rest of the performers. First is Jinyoung and Ten followed with the rest after the performance. His pretty proud of himself. The performance went down without a hitch and he feels rejuvenated. The energy on stage was pretty intense and he can still feel it flow through him.  The music still rings in his ears and he finds himself swaying. Feeling way to good to give way for nervousness, casually he asks the remaining three for a selfie,  commending them on their good work before he leaves. 

 

In Jooheon’s words, Hyunwoo felt turnt. He wouldn’t mind hitting the club now or maybe enjoying a bottle of soju. He can’t help but chuckle to himself as he settles into the car. It’s rare for him to feel anything but tired after an performance. He almost can’t believe the rest of his team is missing out on this.  He manages a goofy smile when he catches the manager looking at him suspiciously through the review mirror. The rest of ride is Hyunwoo moving along to performance track, randomly blurting out ‘panda’ now and again.  He notices the manager chuckling to himself and he can’t help but join in. What more could he ask from life than the thrill of performing to a pumped up crowd with equally if not more talented dancers. What more could he want than people screaming his name, almost squealing whenever he gets solo time.  Hyunwoo had admit, life had been good to him and he was all too thankful.

 

“Oi,  when you smile like that, it worries me,” The managers jokes and Hyunwoo giggles.

 

The manager almost laughs at that , cause Hyunwoo’s giggle is something akin to a piglet squeal, short and cute.

 

“Hey, I know it’s late but is it okay if I head to the convenience store when we get home?”Hyunwoo asks.

 

“I can take you there now. What do you want?” Is the managers reply and Hyunwoo feels good about it.

 

“Ice cream. No thanks. I need to get something from the dorms first,” He explains simply.

 

“If it’s money-”

 

“It’s not money, something important,” Hyunwoo interrupts.

 

The manager eyes him carefully, his own curiosity irked.

 

“I’ll tell you tomorrow,” Hyunwoo supplies.

 

And it’s enough.

 

“Okay, don’t come back too late,”  the older gives in, hoping the bargain is worth it. 

 

Hyunwoo is generally a private person. So him bartering information regarding something he deems important is almost too tempting to pass by. 

 

They park securely behind the ironed barred gates. Hyunwoo is quick in his step, quietly skipping upstairs. 

Carefully he unlocks the door, peeking into the dark room. 

 

Softly he whispers, “Appa’s home.”

 

The only reaction he gets is the manager’s tired laughter.

 

“Try that when they awake. Jooheon would love it,” he says barely above a whisper.

 

Hyunwoo smiles fondly, Jooheon really does love teasing him. Maybe he should humor them more. The manager tosses Hyunwoo the keys before bidding him a good night. For awhile he just stands there, keys in hands, watching his managers back recede into the dark. There’s a faint buzz spreading through his fingers tip and Hyunwoo can’t rid himself of the itch. Mass amount of temporary energy and a sense of restlessness is not a good combination. 

 

Wasting no more time, he slips into their shared bedroom. Eager to appease himself, he easily discards his shirt onto his bed. In the dim light of the  dolphin night light, a fan gift, Hyunwoo can make out the outline of Hoseok’s face. It’s a cold night, which means his probably asleep underneath a mountain of blankets.  Hyunwoo feels a flower budding in his chest. He hasn’t had much time to be with the others but the distance from Hoseok has him feeling slightly uneasy. It’s like a nagging sensation he just can’t shrug off. He likes it when the younger seeks him out, he likes it when the younger sulks for his attention and he loves it when the others get the message and just leaves them alone. Hyunwoo is incapable of rejecting them openly but Hoseok is not. Its not the most polite ways but Hyunwoo never says anything, afraid that he might be put on the spot. Not like he has a nicer way to deal with it. With that being said, they have had almost zero alone time lately and it’s killing him. 

 

Gently as he can, Hyunwoo picks up the multiple layers of blanket ever so carefully. He notices Hoseok is wearing his hoodie and he can’t help but smile. At least his not the only one suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Sliding in smoothly, adjusting himself to curve of the younger’s body. Hyunwoo presses himself against Hoseok’s back, His arms wrapping around his waist. The warmth spreads through Hyunwoo like wild fire and the bud in is chest is blossoming, flowers bearing fruit of his dire feelings for the younger. He wants to spill it all out. He wants to know if the fruits he beared fair enough to please Hoseok. Burying his face into the other’s hair, Hyunwoo almost wants to absorb Hoseok. He wants to tuck him away safely in his heart, away from anything or anybody posing to stand between them. Asking for no harm to come to them or him is unrealistic to say the least. It’s inevitable that one of them will get hurt but as long as the other is present to fix them up, Hyunwoo doesn’t mind. He would endure hundreds of wounds if that was the only way for him to be under Hoseok’s care. 

 

It could be his imagination but Hyunwoo feels Hoseok’s rear wiggle against him. A chortle soon follows  and Hyunwoo grins as Hoseok rolls over.

 

“Miss me?” Is the first thing he asks .

 

Hyunwoo feels for the outlines of the younger’s face. His thumb gently stroking Hoseok’s cheek before gripping his chin.  Hoseok finds his faces being tugged till he’s a mere inch away from Hyunwoo’s, he can’t help but blush. His mesmerized by the elders chiseled features, each arch and slope perfectly defined by the blue night light. There’s a shadow cast upon his eyes but Hoseok doesn’t need to see it because he can feel every inch of the intensity and sincerity. All of sudden, the space is too warm and Hoseok doesn’t want an answer, instead he buries his head into Hyunwoo’s chest. His cold flesh is pressed flushed against the bronze skin and Hoseok can hear Hyunwoo’s heart going crazy. Thats all the answer he needs.

 

M i s s i n g Y o u

Stars, suns and tears

 

Hyunwoo’s breath is hot on Hoseok’s crown, his fingers slowly brushes lower. A slight smirk gracing his plump lips when he feel warm skin under his finger tips. The younger shudders and Hyunwoo is tempted to feel the supple flesh a little more but the odds are not in their favor. Plus, he has other plans.

 

Tapping the bare flesh gently. He manoeuvres Hoseok’s face upwards. Arching his own neck, Hyunwoo rests his forehead against Hoseok’s. The temptation is unbearable and Hoseok just wishes to be smothered by his leader but the elder is far too responsible to let anything happen and Hoseok can’t hold it against him.

 

“C’mon. I want to go somewhere,” Hyunwoo’s voice is below a whisper.

 

Hoseok looks at him confused, clinging to him tightly. Silently rejecting the idea of getting out of bed. His hands grasping blindly when he feels his source of warmth shifting but Hyunwoo isn’t having any of it.

 

“I’m serious,up,” the elder adds.

 

Hoseok just stares at him, eyes wide with betrayal. 

 

“I’ll wait for you outside,” he offers gently before departing from the bed.

 

There’s a moment of shuffling, Hoseok just watches in silence as Hyunwoo pulls on his shirt. The younger looks stunned, like Hyunwoo can’t be serious but five minutes later when Hyunwoo hasn’t returned, he decides to  change his mind. There’s so many emotions flowing through Hoseok, he hates how verbally releasing them would just serve to upset Kihyun. On the upside, Hyungwon sleeps like a rock. 

 

Hyunwoo waits patiently by the front door. In his hand are the keys and his phone. 

 

His lips keep mumbling quietly, “Panda Panda Panda....”

 

Finally Hoseok emerges, dressed in a gray track pants and Hyunwoo’s over sized hoodie. He does not look impressed but Hyunwoo is beaming and for the life of him, Hoseok can’t figure out why. He opens his mouth to protest but the elder quickly silences him with a ‘hush’.

 

Once they reach the road, Hoseok immediately curls into himself. Hyunwoo just giggles and Hoseok is partially stunned. Since when did Son Hyunwoo giggle? Hoseok gingerly scopes the area before latching on to other and Hyunwoo doesn’t deny him. His not quite sure why they’re going to the store or how and if Hyunwoo got permission but Hoseok is grateful its just the two of them.

 

Eying him closely, Hoseok sarcastically pokes, ”Are you high? Should I be worried?”

 

Hyunwoo isn’t phased. 

 

“Your just that cute,” Is the reply that makes Hoseok blush.

 

The night is still with the quiet strumming of the insects and light buzz of the street lamps. Along the road, theres not a soul in sight. Hoseok can feel the moist of the air against his skin, the numbing sensation starting at the tip of his nose. In the distance they see the faint glow of the convenience store, it’s the same one they always go to. They walk slowly, Hyunwoo stepping and swaying to the imaginary beat.

 

“You had fun at Inkigayo?” It’s Hoseok who attempts to start a conversation.

 

Hyunwoo muses on how it’s always been Hoseok. Hoseok who seeks him out, Hoseok who openly prods at him, demanding access.

“Yeah, It was much better than I expected. At first I was slightly nervous but im kinda use to Ten and Jinyoung. Plus the others are really good,” Hyunwoo goes on like a child explaining  his diary entry to his teacher.

 

The sheer excitement in Hyunwoo’s voice fills Hoseok’s heart to the brim with adoration. Sleep evades him, Hoseok now just wants to pour himself into the elder. He wans to know everything about everything.

 

“The choreography was something else. Everything had to be so precise with such attitude. I was thinking we should do something like that. A little more rougher,” Of course Hyunwoo couldn’t help but think of his own crew.

 

Hoseok loves that about him, how he unsuspectingly thinks of them as group before thinking of himself as an individual. 

 

The leader continues, explaining the days of training and filming. The excitement and pressure of working with other established artists.  Hyunwoo sounds like a child thats been picked by his dream team, all starry eyed with happiness. Hoseok quietly listens, a smile plastered on his numb face. He likes this side of his leader, the care free side that never quite grew up.

 

Hoseok unlatches himself when they approach the convenience store door, immediately missing the warmth. 

 

“Hoya is beyond, like Taemin is good but- Are you listening?” The elder inquires as they sift through the isles.

 

Hoseok looks at him offended, “Of course I was. What you buying?”

 

“Ice-cream,” He simply replies.

 

This makes Hoseok ‘s eyebrows furrow together. His eyes focusing on his leader, making sure this isn’t Son Hyunwoo’s attempt at a joke.

 

“It’s freezing,” He finally supplies verbally.

 

“I’m feeling for it,” It’s all the defense he has.

 

“Okay I’ll have an ice-cream too,” Hoseok concludes.

 

It’s Hyunwoo’s turn to look surprised but he doesn’t say anything.

 

After buying the ice-creams, Hello Kitty brand for Hoseok and Chocolate log for hyunwoo, they brace themselves for the outside.

 

Hoseok immediately shivers but it’s not long till he can feel Hyunwoo’s fingers weave between his own. The leader slightly tugs and Hoseok follows. They move in the opposite direction of the dorms but he doesn’t question it. Resigning himself, Hoseok concludes tonight belongs to Hyunwoo and he refuses to rain on his leader’s good mood.

 

It’s then , trailing behind Hyunwoo, does Hoseok notice the night sky littered with lights.  It’s beyond beautiful and Hoseok can’t remember anything looking this surreal. It feels like a childhood memory, a sense of nostalgia runs over him and Hoseok can feel himself get giddy. Hyunwoo’s mood proves to be infectious. Skipping gently, Hoseok tugs his leader to halt. Gripping Hyunwoo’s faces, Hoseok angles it in such a way that they’re directly gazing at each other. The leader looks perplexed but doesn’t moves. A grin is plastered on Hoseok’s face. He steps backs a little, squinting his eyes exaggeratedly. He looks adorable and Hyunwoo smiles so wide, his eyes forms little crescents. There’s somethings commanding about the elders beauty,

something Hoseok can’t get enough of. It’s the little bunny teeth that appear when he smiles awkwardly or the way his cheeks form round supple balls of cuteness when he gets shy, his eyes dissolving into almost nothingness. Those taunt arms that mislead you because being hugged by Hyunwoo is like being engulfed by warm layers of cotton candy. So sweet, so soft , so warm, so Hyunwoo. It’s everything about the elder that drives Hoseok further into his self made hell, heart pining for more and more.

 

“When you smile like that, not a star in the sky can compete with you” Hoseok says without much thought.

 

That’s what Hyunwoo was, a star that resides out of Hoseok’s reach. A surreal beauty that exist for the sole purpose of shining and shine he did. So bright, Hoseok couldn’t pry his eyes away, not matter how much the glare hurt. Hyunwoo was that kind of beauty. Hoseok would go blind a hundred times if each time was followed with a second worthy of Hyunwoo’s light. 

 

Theres a pause and Hyunwoo feels all the air still around him. The very essence of the younger permeates the distance between them. Hoseoks looks at him like his admiring the aurora Borealis but there’s something sad in his voice, something Hyunwoo knows all too well. He can feel it but when he stares into the other’s eyes,  he sees his entire world reflecting. Closing the distance between, Hyunwoo hands reaches for the younger, pulling him into his chest. Hoseok’s giggle is the only thing that accompanies the night’s chill. The packet of ice-creams abandoned by their feet.

 

“Then you must be my sky. Tell me, am I bright enough for you? Do I sparkle enough or is there another  star that catches your eye?” Hyunwoo’s words are hot against the other’s hair, his arms sealing the younger in.

 

His taunt arms exude so much warmth, Hoseok almost can’t bear it. His grining like crazy but luckily his face is hidden. For split second, Hoseok swears this the most content his ever been in his life. Hyunwoo’s words draws him out. If only the elder knew.

 

Squirming against the heat of Hyunwoo, Hoseok finally creates enough space to look the other in the eye.

 

The sheer intensity behind those crescent gems is enough and a deep blush flourishes upon Hoseok’s cheeks. Hyunwoo loves the effect he has on the other.

 

“Fool. To me, you’re no star. You’re my sun, the center of my universe,” Hoseok’s eyes shine as bright as the fireworks against a diwali night, every word drips with absolute truth and adoration.

 

Hyunwoo is blinded by the stream of emotions flowing through him and around him. Hoseok has always been too much, too potent and Hyunwoo is beyond drunk before he even knows it. Hoseok is glowing, his porcelain skin translucent as he smile turns into a grin. 

 

In the dead of the night, they feel nothing but each other. The road next to them, the streets lamps, the rows of apartments all forgotten. It’s like they exist in their own space, their own haven and everything feel magical. The heat they share, the air they breath, they feel each other in each exhale, more and more in every single Inhale. Here and now, they exist solely for each other. Staring at each, they’re beaming but desperation is thick in the air. Their desires pouring through their eyes, their want turning into need.

 

When Hyunwoo lowers his face, Hoseok pushes up against him, stepping on his tippy toes. Theres a brief moment when they can feel the heat of the each other’s breath on their own lips. Hyunwoo’s arms tighten, lifting Hoseok up slightly. Their lips gently crushing against each other. It’s unhurried but firm, both needing proof. It’s Hyunwoo who takes the lead, sucking on the other’s lip. His eyes open partially and he has to swallow hard at the sight in front him. The street light is dim but Hoseok’s flushed faces almost shimmers, His eyes are closed in sheer bliss and when Hyunwoo uses his teeth to tug, Hoseok immediately awards him entrance. He feels weightless, floating above ground. Hyunwoo tastes of honey , his tongue like a candied cherry. Hoseok 

want to taste more and more till he loses his senses. Every second is fulled with silent confessions, pouring their all into the other. Hyunwoo can taste it, every second Hoseok has missed him, every moment they spent a part. It’s too much and too little because there can never be enough of Hoseok. Never. Not for Hyunwoo.

 

The caverns of Hoseok’s mouth taste like caramel swirls and Hyunwoo can’t help but feel the sudden taste of salt is complimentary. Panicking as the salt taste overflows, Hyunwoo breaks the kiss. Below him is the brightest eye smile, overflowing with tears. Hoseok face is flushed with a steady stream of tears running down his face but theres that smile. Hyunwoo feel his heart break but when he rests his forehead against the other, Hoseok defiantly shakes his head.

 

“I’m glad, Hyunwoo,” His voice cracks but it doesn’t deter him, “We debuted. I debuted , thats all I ever wanted before. Like I know theres a gamble and some aren’t as lucky but just when I thought my time was running out; We did. We as in you, me and the five other fools. This is it, performing , traveling, fans. This is all of it and it belongs to us. Fuck music show awards. Yeah yeah, I want them but when we out there, I couldn’t care less. Then I got you on top of it all.” 

 

The tears have stopped but the trails are still visible. Hoseok’s lips glisten as he speaks, leaving Hyunwoo to watch in awe. Each word sending shivers down his spine.

 

“We get to live this. I get to live this life with you. This all I need. Leave me if you must but not for too long,” his voice is firm, conviction strong in his words.

 

Hosoek squeezes his eyes shut, chuckling when Hyunwoo lips descend upon his face, kissing the salty trails. He continues till Hoseok pecks him gently, halting him. Their second kiss is worlds a part from their first. Instead of floating, Hoseok feel himself being drawn to the other’s magnetic center. An exchange of light little prin pricks of pleasure. Their lips grazing each other’s so gently, so delicately and it feels nothing short of perfection. Their emotion meeting at an equilibrium and everything fizzles away. All the overwhelming emotions, each unspoken feeling flutters away and when their eyes meet, there’s silencing peace. Peace they’re not used to because they’re always so caught up with practice , shows and just about everything but each other. Generally the knowing glances and intentional touches are enough to keep their heads above water but this is better.

 

Smiling quietly, they could get used to this.

 

M i s s i n g Y o u

ice-cream, territory and fishes

 

Hyunwoo’s eyes open a little larger than normal and Hoseok looks at him questioningly.

 

He remembers before the elder can answer, “Ice-cream.”

 

He picks up the bag, inspecting the contents. The ice-cream is still cold but the firmness of the chocolate log seems lost. 

 

Hoseok’s about to offer Hyunwoo his but the elder interrupts, “Not here.”

 

Yes, Hoseok remembers them going somewhere before he noticed the stars. Linking hands, Hyunwoo’s stride leads the way.

 

“ Your chocolate log is getting limp,” He warns.

 

“Won’t be long,” Hyunwoo assures.

 

They walk not far till they reach a green strips lining rows of newly renovated flats. The lighting is much better here and Hoseok can not only see the gradient of warm colors coating the walls but he can smell it as well. Hyunwoo leads him into a pathway, a separation between two flats. The ground is unkept with random rubble and pot holes. The renovation is obviously not complete. The further they get from the streets, the darker it get which leads to both using their phones to light up their way,

 

Feeling suddenly cautious, Hoseok follows quietly, “ Are you sure it’s okay to be here?”

 

Hyunwoo doesn’t answer but Hoseok can see the side of his lips curl up.

 

 There’s a weird ‘trickling’ sound and Hoseok is thoroughly confused. It sounds like streaming water but theres no bodies of water around here, none that Hoseok knows of at least.

 

The unkempt ground soon leads to greenery, behind the flats is a strip of land fulled with random machinery, odd fixtures, tools and all types of plants .Amongst it all, illuminated by a white light,  is a three tier waterfall. Abandoning whatever reservation he held, Hoseok weaves through the obstacle course to get to the waterfall. The stone feature is a chalk coal grey with delicate leaf like design, spewing water from a fish’s mouth at the very top. 

 

Peering closer, Hoseok almost squeals, “Oh my Gawd, Hyunwoo, they have fishes here.”

 

His signature high pitch voice makes Hyunwoo smile widely. He was hoping the younger would like this. Amongst all the expensive taste and habits Hoseok has, Hyunwoo’s knows it’s the most random things that makes him the most happy. At this point of knowing Hoseok, Hyunwoo thinks he’s figured around 15% of the younger. It’s the little lessons like how buying Hoseok his own venti Americano would please him but buying a tentra americano, so you can share with him would have him beaming. It’s the different pressure of the hugs he gives you when you buy himself small, how he threatens squeeze the life out of you when you instead give him something of yours. Maybe it’s how theres little intention behind his words, Hoseok very rarely says anything because he feels he has too, each of his words pure with interest. The way he looks at you when you talk, eyes wide, screaming with expression. That’s Hyunwoo’s favourite, those eyes that couldn’t hide a single lie, those eyes that spell everything out. In the end, Hoseok never really looks like he doubts himself and Hyunwoo can’t figure out if that’s confidence or is it because the younger can’t really help himself. Most likely because he can’t help himself.

 

“I know Babe. What about the ice-creams,” Hyunwoo reminds him, throwing in some spice.

 

He watches intently, Hoseok’s body freezing at the mention of the word ‘babe’.

Too transparent, Hyunwoo thinks. 

 

Hoseok spots him on an wooden bench not far but it’s dark and he likes the fountain. Hyunwoo more or less understands his hesitance. Placing the packet on the bench, Hyunwoo tries to drag the bench as close to the fountain as he can, only stopping when the exposed pipes of the fountain stand in their way. Feeling accomplished, he dusts his hands as he throws a smile at Hyunwoo. He almost feels like his wooed the younger.  Hoseok just chuckles, Skipping over the pipes. He links arms with his leader as they sit on the cherry oak wooden bench. 

 

Hurriedly, Hoseok retrieves their ice-creams. Hyunwoo’s chocolate log does not feel too ice and when he opens it, it’s far from firm. The ice-cream is weak, leaking out f the chocolate casing. Hoseok quickly takes off the plastic cover of his hello kitty ice-cream and offers it to him. It offers little assistance and a mess unfolds. At some point both of them have started laughing, theres drips and spills on Hyunwoo’s black jacket and every time he tries to wipe it, he just adds another. At first he was enjoying the show but soon losing patients, Hoseok takes he packet from him, holding it out far from his own body. Draining the softened ice-cream, Hoseok salvages the chocolate shell, placing it inside the swirls of strawberry and vanilla ice-cream instead.

 

“We’ll share,” He says once his done with damage control.

 

Hyunwoo just watches him, shaking the ice-cream of his hand.

 

Placing the hello kitty tub in the middle of them, Hoseok leans forward, “let me take care of that.” 

 

With that, Hyunwoo’s sticky fingers are brought to Hoseok’s pink lips. Hyunwoo’s mind goes into overdrives. One by one, The younger’s tongue peeks out, licking the white substance from his fingers. The sudden turn of events has Hyunwoo deepening his breathes. His mind searches for anything to concentrate on, anything but how warm and wet Hoseok’s tongue feels against his rough palms. No matter how hard he tries, he cant tear his eyes away, the sight in front of him is too intoxicating. Hoseok goes painfully slow, his eyes lidded under the glow off the water fountain. The blood rush is uncontrollable and Hyunwoo attempts to straighten his back in an attempt to ease the growing firmness. The wind gentle ruffles Hoseok’s hair and Hyunwoo makes the biggest mistake of the night by allowing his available finger tips to draw the stray hair back. Hoseok looks up  and they lock gazes and Hyunwoo feels everything in his world shift by an inch. Hoseok ‘s gaze is so inviting, the leader’s imagination running wild with all types of scenarios. His favourite scenario being the one when the younger is straddling him, with his tongue lapping at his neck instead of his fingers. Hoseok maintains eye contact as he slightly sucks on his ring finger which is already clean but the elder is too dazed to notice. It’s all too much and Hyunwoo can’t manage another second of looking into those pleading eyes.  Awkwardly he redirects his sights to the stars above, hoping to ease the blood rush. He feels the younger lips smile around his finger before the warmth retracts. 

 

“There,” Hoseok teasingly adds, “ something wrong Babe?”

 

Hyunwoo’s throat is too dry to answer, so instead he grabs the tub of ice-cream, shoving a spoonful into his mouth. He can hear the other giggle but he doesn’t feel ready to be tested again. 

 

Hoseok slides closer, leaning into the other’s side, “Share, ahhh.”

 

Hyunwoo tries to oblige but when looks at the other’s open mouth and mischevious eyes, he regrets.

 

“What have I done to deserve this?” Hyunwoo asks in  defeat as he feeds the other.

 

“Lots,” is the reply he didn’t expect.

 

He looks at Hoseok confused, assuming it was because of how busy his been but they’ve dealt with that.

“Don’t look at me like that,” the younger continues, the playfulness absent, “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You give me such a hard time when I ask for a selfie. Half the time your eyes are closed but you had no problems smiling with open eyes for selfies with them.”

 

Hyunwoo is now lost, the hello kitty spoon sticking out his mouth.

 

“Don’t play innocent. It was less than three hours ago and you going to play dumb,” Hoseok continues, crossing his legs dramatically.

 

Oh, Hyunwoo thinks, “ With the dancers?”

 

Hoseok looks at him like ‘isn’t it obvious,’ before demanding more ice-cream.

 

Hyunwoo promptly feeds him, “Is not like I wanted to, it was media. You should know this.”

 

Wait, is he really defending himself.

 

“And that cute stuff with Minhyuk better stop too,” Hoseok says, eying the elder carefully.

 

Hyunwoo has to swallow his chuckle because his not too sure if Hoseok is serious or not, “Are we jealous?”

 

He can’t lie, he would be happy if the other was.

 

“Excuse me,”  Hoseok scoffs, “ I have no idea what you talking about. One can only be jealous of something they don’t have. You, on the other hand, very much belong to me. So technically I’m territorial. It’s just annoying, theres pictures every where online. Minhyuk clings to you like your his life source.”

 

“You cling to me too,”

 

“Yeah whatever I do on my territory is my business,” Hoseok defends instantly.

 

Hyunwoo questions if this topic is more serious than the other is letting on. If it’s not, then it’s Hyunwoo’s bad but his in a little too deep now.

 

“And what about what you do on Hyungwon’s territory or Changkyun’s?" Hyunwoo tries not to sound too serious.

  

The question takes Hoseok by surprise and he promptly eats another spoon of the melted ice-cream which is less than appetizing. Abandoning the spoon, he opts for a chocolate piece.

 

“Is that your business too?” Hyunwoo won’t let him escape.

 

“I’m an attention whore okay, it’s what I do,” He defends, his voice cracking.

 

Hyunwoo feels accomplished. The younger pouting in front of him.

 

“You never play with me anyway,” Hoseok adds, regretting it when he sees Hyunwoo’s offended expression, “You know. Whenever I wanna do something cute to you, you always look uninterested.”

 

Hoseok is just grabbing at straws and his leader can read him like an open book. Honestly, he can’t blame Hyunwoo, it’s just not in his nature to be shameless.

 

“Like?” Hyunwoo inquires.

“Like that time we went to eat meat and I tried to take a picture of us but you shoved your phone into the lense,” Hoseok explains in a rush, eager to prove a point to the other, “and of course on your screen you had picture we had taken minutes earlier with Minhyuk.”

 

Hyunwoo looks at him confused, placing the hello kitty tub aside “I did that.”

 

Hoseok feels confident that he’s turn the tables, “Yes.”

 

The look in Hyunwoo’s eyes says otherwise. His staring at younger, his gaze strong and deliberate. Hoseok feels small infront f Hyunwoo’s larger stature but he knows his brought this upon himself.

 

“What?” Hoseok gives in.

 

The elder shakes his head slightly, “Nothing, just wondering.”

 

It’s a trap and Hoseok knows it but he can’t help himself, “Wondering about?”

 

A smile ghosts Hyunwoo’s face and Hoseok feels himself shiver. 

 

Hyunwoo’s raises his hands, allowing it to barely graze Hoseok’s cheek, “Wondering if I made you my whore, would you still be so eager for the attention of others?”

 

It takes a while for Hoseok to register his words. His face heats up, thats the most lewd language is ever heard from his leader and coupled with that raspy voice. Hoseok is all two minutes away from dropping to his knees but when Hyunwoo’s cold hand tightens, he lets a gasp slip. Hoseok’s jaws fits firmly between the junction of Hyunwoo’s thumb finger and index finger. He increases the pressure ever so lightly before releasing. It’s more of a statement than anything else and Hoseok hears it loud and clear.

 

“We basically bought ice-cream to waste it,” Hyunwoo comments, his raspy voice and intense demeanor no more.

 

Hoseok soon recovers from his amazement, “No, we bought ice-cream so I can lick it of your fingers.”

 

The prior mood is all forgotten and Hoseok’s not too sure if his thankful or not. At one point, he was in he wrong but on the other hand, Hynwoo was damn sexy. His eye twitches when he sees a light flicker but Hyunwoo looks unaffected. Theres another two flickers until the duo find themselves engulfed in light.

 

“What the fuck,” Hoseok curse, his hands flying to cover his eyes.

 

Hyunwoo’s laughter never sounded so odd and the other’s interest is immediately perked.  Looking up, Hoseok is greeted by a big billboard, with four large industrial lights below it. It’s so  bright, Hoseok feels like Jesus christ is about to make an appearance. Upon the billboard is a picture of two caucasion people, a male and female, both smilling excessively wide smiles. Behind them is something that looks like a water painting of apartment buildings surrounded by trees, flowers....are those vegetables in the corner?

‘A GREENER FUTURE A GREENER LIFESTYLE’ stands bold but thanks to the light, Hoseok has to squint to read.

 

Fancy, he thinks, “No wonder they had a water fountain.”

 

“With fishes,” Hyunwoo adds and Hoseok nodds.

 

“It’s like a date,” The words are out of his mouth before he knows it.

This is a date. Hoseok  looks at Hyunwoo dumbfounded.

 

Ice-cream 

In a park bench, 

Underneath the stars. 

 

Oh My Gawd.

 

“Did you enjoy?” 

 

Did he enjoy? I’s a rare occasion for Hoseok to be short on words, his generally ever ready but nothing he says would do his feelings justice. Instead, he presses his cold lips to the elder’s cheek.

 

His one hand snakes it way to the other’s toned chest and Hoseok giggles against his cheek before whispering hot words against it, “I loved it.”

 

M i s s i n g Y o u

Bedtime stories

 

They depart the from the illuminated garden. Shuffling throught the streets, its not long they find themselves nearing the buillding Hyunwoo smiles quietly as Hoseok practically hangs of his shoulder. He doesn’t mind, actually his chest is swollen with pride for some reason. Multiple reasons infact and he can’t deny any of them . The way Hoseok looks at him, clings to him,  it’s different , it’s adoration and Hyunwoo’s just glad he has the ability to make him this happy.  He halts himself as he soon remembers something he wanted to share with the other.

 

“You’re beautiful, I feel like i don’t tell you enough or at all. I know you hear it all the time from other people. but yeah,”  It’s blunt, he sees no reason to hold back anything now.

 

In honesty, Hyunwoo’s been thinking abou this for a while. Hoseok’s picture are all over his phone and it never ceases to amaze Hyunwoo just how easily the other’s beauty knocks the air out of him.

 

“It means the most coming from you,”

 

Hyunwoo just blushes.

 

Moments later, they’re approaching the front door. Hyunwoo digs for the keys but Hoseok takes his hand in his own. Hyunwoo turns to face him, his brows lifted in confusion. The other just smiles silently and Hyunwoo wonders if his missing something.

 

“What , on our first date we had our first kiss. What’s next?” Hoseok’s voice is smooth as velvet.

 

Hyunwoo feels his mouth drying up, slowly realising what the other is implying.

 

“Sorry,” Hoseok’s face cracks into a grin, stifling a giggle, “ Well you can forget it. You gotta work harder for that, this is far as you get.”

 

Saying Hyunwoo is confused is an understatement. The younger looks at him with faux innocence.

“I don’t-” Hyunwoo doesn’t get far.

 

“I really enjoyed tonight. Maybe we could do it again some other time,” Hoseok cuts in, his words flowing steadily as he reaches for the keys. 

 

He slips inside the dorm, flashing Hyunwoo a final smile before leaving the other standing there. Moments later into Hyunwoo’s confusion, Hoseok darts out and pecks him , instantly vanishing once again, closing the door behind him. There’s a faint shuffling behind the door and Hyunwoo is thoroughly bewildered. In a sense his please with Hoseok acting cute, his out of character behavior has always been endearing but Hyunwoo just wants to know the motive. He takes a moment to stare at the door, he knows its useless to decipher Hoseok but he really wants to know. His too tired to really put up a fight and soon enters the dorms. 

 

There’s silence and he doesn’t know why he expected anything else. Hoseok is snuggled into his many layers of blankets, his face hidden and Hyunwoo finds it amusing. Grabbing a pair of short, Hyunwoo makes his way to the bathroom. He takes a piss, washing his hands and facer afterwards. Soon his clothes is lying in a heap in the corner, now replaced with a pair of brown sleeping shorts. 

 

Stepping back into the bedroom, He registers a quick rustle and Hyunwoo instinctively knows its Hoseok. He doesn’t know what the younger is up to but he’ll play along. Feigning ignorance, Hyunwoo barely spare Hoseok’s bunk a glance before settling into his own. He rolls over to his side, Eying the other and his intuition proves spot on as Hoseok rolls over to his side.  There’s silence and slight smile graces Hoseok’s lip when their eyes meet. Theres something strangely intimate about them watching each another  from separate beds.  Their eyes focused solely on each other. They would often do this, just rest in the presence of each. Some times its all they had. This was different. It was no longer a compensation but rather a continuation of their affair. In the past, every moment they shared felt like a dot  and slowly they were trying plot out their bigger picture.  Like a connect-the-dots picture they would do when they were younger except now, they never knew when the next dot would come up. Most of the time the spaces between the dots were far too wide apart and they find themselves restless, waiting for their nest rest stop. This was different and Hyunwoo understands why the physical affection, they’ve been avoiding, came so easily. It’s like when teacher asks you to pick a partner for an assignments but in this case it’s Life asking you ‘who do you want to spend me with?’ And just like in school , you already know who you gonna pick. It’s instinctive but we let the weight of all these trivial matters hinder us. If you could close your eyes and pin point that one person you would go to and forget the consequences. Forget the shame of being weak, forget the embarrassment of troubling them. Who do you want? Who do you need ? Hyunwoo knows it’s Hoseok and that’s all he needs from now on. They’ve boarded a one way ride and now the dots and lines have been replaced by a continuous rail tracks Whether their far or near from each other, they’re being going the same way. They’re one now, no longer two separate entities seeking each other.

 

Hoseok ducks into his blanket and Hyunwoo furrows his brows.

 

Theres a faint buzz and Hyunwoo reaches for his phone. His cheeks failing in containing a smile.

 

Hoseok

_Goodnight Babe_

 

Hyunwoo dead pans as he soon starts to make sense of Hoseok’s behavior. His fingers quick to text back and little ping disturbs the silence.

 

Hyunwoo

_You need to give the dramas a break, its corrupting you_

_Goodnight_

 

Hoseok lets a giggle slip, his head peeking out once again.  Hyunwoo’s eyes are focused, waiting for him but theres this intensity. An intensity Hoseok doesn’t fully grasp because his still giddy from being cute. He looks curiously at Hyunwoo, noticing the other leaning off his bed. Hoseok, too, props himself up, straining his neck.

 

Hoseok did ask what’s next. They had their first kiss, so what’s next? Like floodgates, everything pours out of Hyunwoo and he couldn’t care less. Now when he stares at hoseok, he no longer braces himself for frustration, no, now he can taste him on his lips. Now he feels the warmth of  Hoseok’s tears, taste the salt on his tongue, feel his breath against his chest. 

 

There’s no hesitation, “ I love you,”

 

Hyunwoo’s voice is clean and it slices through the air like a hot knife in butter. He really doesn’t care if the others hear. His eyes fixed on Hoseok, he wants to close the gap but that’s an unnecessary disturbance. There’s still time for that.

 

His not too fast or too quiet but Hoseok doesn’t register the words for alternate reasons. For a moment, Hoseok feels his joints lock, including his jaw. Theres a rush of crashing debris around him but all he can  see is Hyunwoo. The chaos is trying to distract him but Hyunwoo’s existent is too surreal and beautiful . Every fiber, every cell of his being surrenders to the moment he feels like his been waiting an eternity for.

 

“I love you,” His reply is simple, standing as statement on it’s own.

 

Theres an exchange of knowing looks and gentle smiles before they lean into the embrace of their beds.

 

Hoseok can feel warmth sliding across the bridge of his nose. He wants to say it again, say how happy he is. Maybe tomorrow. 

 

It’s unfamiliar territory but the change is greatly appreciated by both parties. Hyunwoo wonders how long the other has waited for him, it seems like Hoseok has always been waiting. Theres small traces of memories that remind him of how far they’ve really come. Their beginning, they’re already in the intro scene before either of them can understand their roles. Their script is too sparse and Hyunwoo struggles but it’s not too long before Hoseok outstretch hand is offering him assistance. It may have taken a Hyunwoo a while but when he does feel the smooth of Hoseok’s palm against its own, Hyunwoo’s eager to never let go. He doesn’t have to, he doesn’t even spare it a second thought. 

 

They’re lovers in motion, heading the only direction they know how; Forward

 

**Author's Note:**

> hi. so in Korea its quite hot and they're probably sleeping with no blankets but here in South Africa its freezing. My mistake, sorry.
> 
> Panda is the name of the song Hyunwoo performed to at the UDF inkigayo stage.
> 
> That scenario where Hyunwoo showed a picture of Minhyuk while Hoseok was taking a selfie really did happen.
> 
> also my dearest apologies for errors, I try to edit but then i find myself self doubting and scraping the stories. So here it is before i cut it down. My first attempt.
> 
> Comments and kudos are very much appreciated


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